Interesting article on blood fetishes and related fetishes...03:19 Dec 02 2009
Times Read: 674
I DID NOT WRITE THIS... I JUST ENJOY IT
Some Sexual Taboos Explored
by Virginia Dalloway
Published in Issue 6.4
In the aftermath of Halloween—little more than an excuse to masquerade as our deepest, darkest alter egos—there evidently remains a desire for social release beyond drinking, doing drugs, and having sex. We need to explore our most primal and taboo desires. Most people seem afraid to explore their inner sexual selves on a “normal” daily basis, and thus explode on holidays such as this.
We deny ourselves fetishes and reject the elements of fear and control in our sexual lives; in effect, we force these primal urges to be expelled elsewhere, through aggression and force against those weaker than ourselves. The resulting aggression can result in rape, and affects all aspects of social life, including academia, the workplace, and even the political and physical battlefields of war. While fear and control can be perilous to play with when combined with sex, these elements can also result in sexual euphoria if used correctly, safely, and intelligently.
Indeed, even the most sedate and sober of your classmates and colleagues can be seen parading around in his or her sexy vampire or phantom costume. Halloween has come to be one of the most sexual holidays we celebrate. Perhaps knowledge of its pagan roots allows us to behave in a way we think is pagan-like, with lowered inhibitions. There is something extremely alluring about the gothic, gruesome, and frightening. The elements of fear, danger, control, and fetish make our hearts pulse.
But why do we assume that any interest and behavior in the so-called “fetish” is non-normative? Why must heterosexual missionary sex be the only accepted form of copulation? When we label a behavior as a “fetish,” we target certain sexual desires that are perfectly natural as strange, odd, and even sometimes “wrong.” But as long as one’s desires are safe, mutual, and enjoyable, there is nothing “wrong” with acting out one’s fantasies.
There are different levels of fetishism and ranges of behavior. One may simply have preferences for certain behaviors or practices during sex. Then there are those who have one thing in particular they really like, and upwards from that, someone may need to behave in a certain way or worship the object of his or her desire in order to be sexually satisfied. Beyond that it can turn into a socio-pathic problem.
A “paraphilic” is obsessed and dependent upon an object or behavior for sexual gratification. They cannot function as normal members of society because of this. However, less extreme versions are far from abnormal. Most people know what they like and what they don’t like when it comes to sex. And most of these people repress a lot of things because they fear that their desires are abnormal and unacceptable (i.e., spanking, innocent fetishes, role playing, games).
It is crucial to remember that one’s sexual behavior is inexcusably unjustified and wrong (as well as illegal) if it is abusive, non-mutual behavior akin to or actual rape, pedophilia, murder, or any form of abuse that infringes upon another’s rights.
A proper manifestation of one’s desires, fantasies and “fetishes” should be safe, mutual, and communicated so there is no misunderstanding. Fetishes can be wonderful explorations of the inner sexual self.
Contextualizing Fetish:
From Whence It Came
and What It Means
Fetishes have an ancient and magical quality to them. The pagan sentiment of worshipping sacred icons, gods, objects, and elements is echoed in the fetish. Perhaps with the Christianization of the West, fetishized objects and behavior came to be synonymous with “wrong” (because one should not worship anything except God and/or Jesus according to Christianity), and thus still pervades our unconscious societal interpretation of such behavior.
Indeed, the etymology of “fetish” provided by Merriam Webster is originally the French fétiche, from Portuguese feitiço, from feitiço artificial, false, from Latin facticius factitious. It is defined as 1. An object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner. 2. A material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence. 3. An object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion: prepossession. 4. An object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. 5. A rite or cult of fetish worshipers.
Ultimately, “fetish” has turned into a reference to anything irrationally worshipped. Among psychoanalysts it is believed that most fetishes refer to a sexual habit that arose in childhood through a catalyst of some kind. Children find ways to cope with stress through mechanisms that may or may not result in pleasure. This can begin as, or transform into, a form of sexual gratification. The mind fixates on this behavior or fetish because it results in happiness and thus a repetitious and sometimes necessary behavior is created in order to feel gratified.
The frequently denounced, yet respected, Freud saw the fetish as a token of victory over the threat and fear of castration. In feminist-Freudian therapist Louise J. Kaplan’s “Female Perversions: The Temptations of Emma Bovary,” Freud’s explanation is summarized as: “The adult fetish cannot introduce his penis into the temple of doom (vagina) without a fetish to ease the way.” Freud’s explanation of fetishism, based on man’s seemingly inherent fear of women, nevertheless remains an important and influential interpretation.
Taboos have always surrounded sexual behavior and the accepted norms continue to change across time and culture.
Fear, Pain, and Danger
The elements of fear, pain, and danger in combination with sexual activity remain taboo. But many people use these elements to increase their sexual gratification. How does this work? It’s all about adrenaline. Thanks to fetishexchange.org, the joys of pain are explained. Essentially, the impulse of pain initiates production of adrenaline in the brain. It results in immediate alertness. During times of stress, danger, fear, and pain adrenaline is produced. Adrenaline is made up of two hormones, epinephrine and nor-epinephrine. There are also neurotransmitters that send information and sensation through the brain quickly. The chemicals increase metabolism rate and blood pressure. The result can be a feeling of increased energy, euphoria, excitement, and a need to climax in relief in some way by escaping the pain or danger. The production of adrenaline during sexual arousal contributes to its enjoyable nature. Bondage, discipline, and sado-masochism (BDSM) are sexual behaviors that use this knowledge to play along the edge of anticipation and fear. Some of the taboo behaviors driven by adrenaline highs involve blood and asphyxiation.
Blood
What does blood have to do with sex? This is a tricky topic. First of all, any open wound and free flowing blood can pass on disease. This is something to be very careful about in any context. It is rare to find people who have a sexual fetish for blood. But there are more people than you may think who are curious and interested in the taste and feeling of blood. A relatively safe and easy way to fulfill this desire (versus bloodletting and other dangerous activities) is having sex (if female) while on one’s period. (Of course at all times protection should be used.) One must be in an openly communicative and trusting relationship to have any sort of sexual experience that involves bodily fluids, let alone blood. However, a small cut on the lip, and even hickeys (which are bruises caused through suction on the skin and thus the breaking of tiny capillaries) are forms of blood fetish. Even caring for a loved one’s injury or wound by cleaning up his or her blood is a symbolic way of saying, “I care about you. We are in a loving relationship, and you can trust me with your blood.”
There is also an age-old obsession with “popping” someone’s “cherry.” This obviously assumes and hopes for a bit of blood to flow during one’s first experience with sexual intercourse when (if with a female) the hymen “breaks.” However, hymens come in various shapes and designs and breakage or stretching of the hymen rarely happens during sex, because this thin membrane of skin usually stretches or breaks beforehand, either from playing sports, climbing a tree, riding a bike, using a tampon, or riding a horse.
It is clear that blood is loaded with symbolism and a drop or two can either scare a person away forever or create intense intimacy, as long as it is safe. Sex in the context of danger done skillfully and safely can be romantic and a manifestation of the highest form of love and admiration.
Asphyxiation:
Not for the faint of heart
(or the asthmatic…)
Erotic asphyxiation, generally known as “breath play” or “asphyxiophilia” involves the blockage of blood and oxygen flow to the brain through suffocation or strangulation during masturbation or sexual activity with another.
Let me start by saying it is impossible to endorse the behavior of auto-erotic or erotic asphyxiation. There is really no safe way of participating. The inherent risks are brain damage, cardiac arrest, and even death. This is because suffocation or strangulation during sex induces cerebral anoxia, a deficiency of oxygen in the brain.
Jay Wiseman, medical professional, SM community member, and author of the book “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” explains in “The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play”: “Indeed, so far not one (repeat, not one) single physician, nurse, paramedic, chiropractor, physiologist, or other person with substantial training in how a human body works has been willing to step forth and teach a form of breath control play that they are willing to assert is acceptably safe—i.e., does not put the recipient at imminent, unpredictable risk of dying. I believe this fact makes a major statement.”
Despite the risks, people still practice erotic asphyxiation because it produces a more intense orgasm for them. The practice goes back centuries, if not farther. There are many historical references to auto-erotic and erotic asphyxiation, the most famous being Marquis de Sade’s “Justine” (1791).
However, there are different levels of strangulation. Where as de Sade’s characters used a noose, a hand is good enough, not to mention much safer. Simply lightly placing the hand about the neck can be enough to bring one’s partner into a state of both euphoria and fear. The combination of helplessness and sexual gratification results in a rush of adrenaline from the danger. But be sure to signal to your partner if you do not want to continue.
A gentle tightening grasp around the neck in cycles of tightening and loosening, if under control, can be enjoyable. The problem that remains, however, is not knowing when to stop. There are no real symptoms prior to cardiac arrest and unconsciousness. It is especially dangerous when asphyxiation becomes frequent, and obsessive. Brain damage and cardiac arrest can become more probable. It is difficult to know the limits. If one does participate in this behavior, a careful, mutual understanding and an ability to communicate during the practice is vital, and often, not even enough.
Auto-erotic and erotic asphyxiation has never been accepted as a safe sexual activity; and two adults who choose to trust one another and try it out are most definitely taking a risk. But having sex in general is a risk in itself. It is a matter of what you are willing to do for a great orgasm.
But, but, but
what about “normal” sex?
Well, what is normal sex? We do what we think is right, appropriate, and effective. But sometimes doing what we think is right results in a complete lack of gratification. Un-experienced females especially, often give up control to the male partner, who is likely better versed in sexual gratification because of his own masturbation practices, and therefore uses the female body to a masturbatory end. Despite its popularity, why should this kind of sex be “normal”?
Loving sex can come in many forms. There are many ways to share intimacy with your partner. A healthy relationship will allow for exploration into the taboo if one or both partners want it.
Are you comfortable with your sexual self? Most people aren’t. Indeed, Robert Anton Wilson, novelist, teacher and former Playboy editor wrote in one of his books, “Cosmic Trigger,” “…most neuroses are caused by Judeo-Christian sex repression…These neuroses are direct causes of racism, sexism, rape, violence and warfare. Sexual repression…is public enemy number one and should be fought as vigorously as polio and cancer.”
Perhaps, if we like, we can celebrate Halloween every day in the privacy of our own bedrooms…
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COMMENTS
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Bijou
19:01 Dec 17 2009
i love how McDonalds has a braille menu in the drive through. How many blind people are driving.
DarkMuse
15:49 Oct 13 2012
That is ridiculous....WTH....lol